And Here's to You, Mrs. Potiphar

Through the miracle of studying the Word I learned something, and for days the lesson has been sinking in. 

Many of us are familiar with Joseph and Potiphar's wife. She made a series of passes at young Joseph, and when he resisted her, even by fleeing, she landed him in prison for, she alleged, attempting to assault her. 

In Genesis 39:1 we are given the following background information on Potiphar:

1: And Joseph was brought down to Egypt; and Potiphar, an officer of Pharaoh, captain of the guard, an Egyptian, bought him of the hands of the Ishmeelites, which had brought him down thither.

One single word in Hebrew was translated to what the term implicated rather than what the term actually denotes. Let me give that verse a more careful translation from Hebrew:

1: And Joseph was brought down to Egypt; and Potiphar, a eunuch of Pharaoh, captain of the guard, an Egyptian, bought him of the hands of the Ishmeelites, which had brought him down thither.

Anciently, and as late as the early twentieth century, some people allege even today, men were kidnapped and brutally castrated in order to render them not just slaves, but strong and cheap labor who had no possibility of violating women or procreating. Some men were also (are also) born without genitalia. Women too. Potiphar was an Egyptian, which makes me suspect he may have been born a eunuch. That Potiphar was "a eunuch of Pharaoh" means that Potiphar was an "officer", and in his capacity as "captain of the guard" Potiphar may have been in charge of protecting royal women. 

This makes me suspect that Potiphar showed mercy to Joseph by not having Joseph castrated. Joseph was his slave, and complete removal of genitalia was common practice, as I said, up until the twentieth century, so possibly as far back as then. Perhaps Potiphar, being in that state himself, could not bring himself to afflict another man the same way. Also, upwards of 80-90% of men would die from the procedure, so maybe Potiphar preferred not risking the loss of his investment. However, Potiphar's tender treatment of Joseph gives me to suspect that mercy was more likely the motivating factor.

But the main lesson is that Potiphar was married. As captain of the guard he had risen in rank, risen in authority, risen in wealth and status. He could offer a woman a very comfortable life, enviable social status, and they could enjoy affection and company. But as a eunuch Potiphar could not offer his wife physical intimacy, nor could he offer her children. 

Mrs. Potiphar made her decision to marry Potiphar, knowing the limitation on their conjugal closeness. It is also possible that Potiphar arranged for his marriage, and arranged marriages were the norm back then. Still, some arrangements were between an elderly man and a maiden, and others, apparently, with a man of means who lacked certain physical abilities. Either way, marriage was considered sacred.

As time went on, being physically normal in all regards, Mrs. Potiphar had needs that were going unfulfilled. This is the critical background to her attraction to the (per other attesting records) attractive young Joseph. 

Joseph knew that his lord was a eunuch, and Joseph had to know that Mrs. Potiphar was legitimately starved for real physical intimacy. 

Therein is the great lesson: We all have backgrounds, circumstances, unmet hungers, unanswered needs, unrequited passions. Joseph understood one thing perfectly: That all circumstances notwithstanding, there is one factor or circumstance that outlives all others--The Lord God and His holiness (Genesis 39:7-9):

7: And it came to pass after these things, that his master's wife cast her eyes upon Joseph; and she said, Lie with me. 8: But he refused, and said unto his master's wife, Behold, my master wotteth [knew] not what is with me in the house, and he hath committed all that he hath to my hand; 9: There is  none greater in this house than I; neither hath he kept back anything from me but thee, because thou art his wife: how then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against Elohim. 

The lesson that is (rightfully) offered, "when in temptation, run away like Joseph did", is easy enough, though simplistic. Sometimes we have nowhere to run physically because Potiphar's wife, figuratively speaking, is within us. 

The lesson I want to offer is that we all have our reasons why entreaties work on us, why certain sins appeal to us, why these mistakes either pull on us or why we turn to them. I realized or am realizing that it is hard to become Joseph, but to grow into spiritual maturity I must accept that some unions have limitations similar to how Mr. and Mrs. Potiphar had a limitation in their relationship. Having such limitations is normal, and the limitations cause tensions within, which tensions are normal. These tensions expose us to temptations, which is also a normal process. But none of these reasons, however legitimate, is reason enough to betray trust and sin against Elohim, against God.

Fortunately, The Lord forgives. He wants to forgive. He wants to wash us in the blood of His Son, and set us back on the right path. 

In 1968 Simon and Garfunkel recorded a song for a movie called "The Graduate". The song was enormously popular. I will wind up this post with the opening stanza changing one name out for another:

And here's to you, Mrs. Potiphar,
Jesus loves you more than you will know.
God bless you, please, Mrs. Potiphar.
Heaven holds a place for those who pray.

Learning to marshal one's passions and kinky kicks is hard. I make no light of this. But it is true that Jesus loves us more than we will know, and that Heaven holds a place for those who pray. So let us unravel the snare that is "my reasons for doing it" and "my unmet needs" and choose not to break trust with The Father but confirm it, and not to sin against Him, but to embrace His peace. 

I have been Mrs. Potiphar, focusing on my reasons and hungers. And I am Mr. Potiphar as well, well-meaning, but woefully inadequate in certain arenas. I have it in me to be Joseph, and thanks to the Atonement by which The Lord forgives and the Mercy of God who lets me advance decades into the process, I am working on bringing out my inner Joseph. Time to give the hero within a chance to play his part. 

(If you don't know the song, Mrs. Robinson, you're in for a treat!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9C1BCAgu2I8 )

I imagine the readers will exercise their prerogative to draw different conclusions. I would expect nothing else. Though do remember that the passages that I showed are, if nothing else, actually textual.